Now I know, I just found out…
Illustration from iStockphoto
When a man manages to succeed, to reach a goal that demanded a lot of effort, pride starts to overrun his soul. The one that loses weight looks at fat people with contempt. The one that quits smoking becomes a stiff neck when others still bear the weight of their addiction. If one manages to suppress his sexuality, the sinner that is driven by instinct becomes the object of hate and contempt.
The things that make us better might be more vile that the original sins. What we achieve can poison our soul with venom. The money you can gain might turn you into an arrogant and cheap man. The wealth can push you into the scary abyss of the sin. The way towards love gets narrow when we look at the others from the height of a flying eagle. The gentleness of the heart dries out on the spindle of despise, hate and pride if the soul is not ready to accept the success with the modesty and grace of a gentle flower. Everything we do for ourselves brings us energy that is meant to turn back into the world, for those that still are in agony, in misery and sin.
Our eyes are not meant for contempt but to bring out the face of love that struggles to reach out from deep down our souls. We are not blessed with success to get above one self, but to transform it into love by giving and reaching out for the others around us.
If you repress the hunger while you fast, the hunger will grow bigger. The mind will fantasize tasty and delightful meals. It will feel the most appetizing smells even while you sleep. And the next day, going mad with frustration it will compensate the lack of those by a defiant contempt for the one that does not fast. And then the fast becomes a reason for pride, a reason to feed you ego with the illusion of victory over your wants. But beyond anything the pride is pride and the frustration you feel acknowledges it.
If you have succeeded in life do not cling on the failure of others, because if you do that you might awake the wild creeper of pride and the flame of arrogance. The success is the energy of love and your ability to embrace life, but it will not stay still. It is not like a mountain or an ocean. The arrogance and pride will bring you down slowly from your pedestal, for they draw specific events on the sky of your life.
Lose weight. Enjoy it and shut up! Quit smoking. Enjoy it and shut up! Clean you own back yard. Enjoy your cleanliness and leave neighbor’s garbage where he left it. Because between your neighbor and his garbage there is a hidden relationship. There are some emotions that you are not aware, feelings you never might suspect and causes that will remain, maybe, forever hidden for your mind and your heart.
Between the fat man and his fatness there is a hidden relationship. An understanding. A secret. An incomprehensible feeling. An unconsumed emotion. A rejected love. The fat is the fat man’s teacher. The addiction is the addicted’s teacher, for in our lives there are no severe teachers that our own flaws and failures.
Now I know. I know that any hate, any dislike, any remembering of the evil, any lack of pity, any lack of understanding, of goodwill, of sympathy, any kind of behavior with the people, that is not as graceful and delicate as a Mozart minuet… is a sin, is evil. Not only the killing, the stabbing, the hitting, the robbing, the cursing, but any kind of vulgarity, of disregard, any bad look, any contempt or bad mood comes from the Devil and ruins everything. Now I know, I just found out…